There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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