What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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