How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
