She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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