she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
