you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She bit a glass in half.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
