i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
