do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
