i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize