I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
