All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
