forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
