he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist