The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I believe in your delicious
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.