my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
