in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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