Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
even my farts smell like vagina
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
third nipple confirmed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
