I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
