There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i dont even know how to be here
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
