I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
