Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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