i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
