It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
