conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
