Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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