i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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