Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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