**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
