who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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