matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize