The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
