I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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