Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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