no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
