that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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