i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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