What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize