Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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