I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
