My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
