and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
