I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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