I just cut my nipple shaving
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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