no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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