You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
