I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
