My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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