i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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