the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
