fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize