Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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