My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
