He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
