Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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