So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
