she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize