i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
