weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
