How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
