All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
