the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
