and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
