Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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