Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
