there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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