I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
