the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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