Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
