What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
