We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
