1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
