How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
