my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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