you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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